Fatherhood
As the title suggests, I became a father recently. Though I am elated about it, I also know that the feeling is one way. No joy is complete unless everyone involved is equally delighted. For now, that little bundle of joy as it's called cannot distinguish anything from anything else, let alone father from mother or mother from nurse. In any case, as dutiful parents, we continue to clean potty, rock the baby to sleep and repeat until the next cycle. I'm told this is how its going to be for a few more years now. I'm not worried about that but what I think about it is how these actions of ours shape the child even if they are as early as 1st day or 1st month.
Having a child is a nerve wrecking, spine shattering experience that can play games with your mind in a way that no drug can, no matter what those pictures on Facebook say. As a workplace trait, I have prided myself in loving and handling ambiguity but no training can prepare you for this. They say every pregnancy is unique but I thought it would stop at that. So I read blogs about what to expect after the baby comes - there was advice on nappy changing, decoding crying, wailing and bawling, keeping a tab on sleep patterns, feeding patterns among many others. When you read a lot, you tend to envelope yourself in a sense of misplaced confidence to the extent that it develops into an ignorance of ignorance and when that happens, a simple cry from a 10 day old baby can hit you like a bolt.
This little angel who we now call Naina, has a strange habit of pulling her hair. Yes thats what it's called in the human world and when someone does that in the human world it is fairly obvious that the person is mad. But how do you decode it for a baby - of course the baby is not mad but why would a child repeatedly do the same thing even after she knows it hurts her. I wish I knew.
Sometimes she gives the most beautiful smile in the world in the middle of a sleep session when no one is looking at her. Just when you realise she's smiling she decides to withdraw almost leading you to believe that all crying and wailing might as well be an act. Why she only smiles when no one is watching? I wish I knew.
I also have a strong feeling that all infants are born with a sixth sense. My kid can see things that we cannot see. As much as this hypothesis has freaked my wife out, I have very strong reasons to believe so. When I pick her up to rock her to sleep and lead her from auxiliary hyperbole (that can put Megadeth to shame) to equilibrium, there is a phase when she's wide awake wailing away. It is this state of wide awake awareness coupled with the sudden epiphany of equilibrium that I believe opens her sixth sense. She starts by looking at me in the eyes and then moves away to somewhere else - it is either the ceiling or the fan or the curtain or the book shelf. She continues to look at it in amazement with her eyes transfixed on the object. She then gives it a curious look for a few seconds as if trying to decode the meaning of life, the universe and everything and then lets go with an expression that essentially says - 'I cant waste my time on this, this is not going anywhere' - and then slowly recedes into deep sleep. Why and how she does this? I wish I knew.
But in all this chaos there is something that every new parent must never forget. Just like in a job or a game of football or even a binge drinking session, what makes it fun is the desire to make the experience count for something and the yearning to learn. Having a child can evoke a passion that nothing else can. The sense of purpose that it can give you is unmatched by any self help book, lecture or experience. It teaches you how to make time rather than look for time. An infant, besides being the bundle of joy, is also a bundle of awkward questions, various shades of excreta, weird body movements and the kinds of sounds that the average human ear is not tuned to handle. Over time from among all this emerges a reflection of the parents' state of mind. It is important to keep an open, socially active mind (not the Facebook/ Twitter social kind social) that turns this bundle of joy into a prodigy.
Having a child is a nerve wrecking, spine shattering experience that can play games with your mind in a way that no drug can, no matter what those pictures on Facebook say. As a workplace trait, I have prided myself in loving and handling ambiguity but no training can prepare you for this. They say every pregnancy is unique but I thought it would stop at that. So I read blogs about what to expect after the baby comes - there was advice on nappy changing, decoding crying, wailing and bawling, keeping a tab on sleep patterns, feeding patterns among many others. When you read a lot, you tend to envelope yourself in a sense of misplaced confidence to the extent that it develops into an ignorance of ignorance and when that happens, a simple cry from a 10 day old baby can hit you like a bolt.
This little angel who we now call Naina, has a strange habit of pulling her hair. Yes thats what it's called in the human world and when someone does that in the human world it is fairly obvious that the person is mad. But how do you decode it for a baby - of course the baby is not mad but why would a child repeatedly do the same thing even after she knows it hurts her. I wish I knew.
Sometimes she gives the most beautiful smile in the world in the middle of a sleep session when no one is looking at her. Just when you realise she's smiling she decides to withdraw almost leading you to believe that all crying and wailing might as well be an act. Why she only smiles when no one is watching? I wish I knew.
I also have a strong feeling that all infants are born with a sixth sense. My kid can see things that we cannot see. As much as this hypothesis has freaked my wife out, I have very strong reasons to believe so. When I pick her up to rock her to sleep and lead her from auxiliary hyperbole (that can put Megadeth to shame) to equilibrium, there is a phase when she's wide awake wailing away. It is this state of wide awake awareness coupled with the sudden epiphany of equilibrium that I believe opens her sixth sense. She starts by looking at me in the eyes and then moves away to somewhere else - it is either the ceiling or the fan or the curtain or the book shelf. She continues to look at it in amazement with her eyes transfixed on the object. She then gives it a curious look for a few seconds as if trying to decode the meaning of life, the universe and everything and then lets go with an expression that essentially says - 'I cant waste my time on this, this is not going anywhere' - and then slowly recedes into deep sleep. Why and how she does this? I wish I knew.
But in all this chaos there is something that every new parent must never forget. Just like in a job or a game of football or even a binge drinking session, what makes it fun is the desire to make the experience count for something and the yearning to learn. Having a child can evoke a passion that nothing else can. The sense of purpose that it can give you is unmatched by any self help book, lecture or experience. It teaches you how to make time rather than look for time. An infant, besides being the bundle of joy, is also a bundle of awkward questions, various shades of excreta, weird body movements and the kinds of sounds that the average human ear is not tuned to handle. Over time from among all this emerges a reflection of the parents' state of mind. It is important to keep an open, socially active mind (not the Facebook/ Twitter social kind social) that turns this bundle of joy into a prodigy.
posted by Saurabh at
5:21 PM
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